Insurance policies for the broken-hearted
Young or old, our hearts are easily broken and we then have to suffer through days, months, or − if it’s really awful − years of heartache. If you haven’t experienced this special and torturous emotion, you are one lucky duck. I think that those of us who have experienced the heartbroken state of being can agree that insurance for the broken-hearted would be a darn good idea. When I really reflect, it’s actually difficult for me to fathom why these insurance plans don’t already exist!?!
I envisage these three available insurance plans for the broken−hearted. Try to really reflect upon which features are most important to you so that you can choose the perfect plan! Protect yourself today against the possible tortures of tomorrow!
Disclaimer: The payer of all premium rates is of course the breaker, and the receiver of all benefits is of course the broken.
Policy #1: The Endless Chocolate Life Insurance Plan
As a brokenhearted individual, there may be many times when you feel a bit down. It is a well-established fact that chocolate turns every situation into a better one. With this policy, you will have access to an endless supply of chocolate during times when you are in need of chocolate. In addition, you are free to choose the brand and type of chocolate which suits you best! The policy is a life plan, meaning that it will be in force until you pass away. At this point, your loved ones will receive a lump sum delivery of chocolate equal to the chosen sum assured.
No initial check-up of the state of your broken heart is required; therefore, both the broken-hearted and the future broken-hearted can get coverage! This plan could not be more perfect.
Policy #2: The Self-Love Health Plan
When we are broken-hearted, it is very important to remember to love ourselves by applying some self-love! By reminding ourselves that we are loved, our broken hearts heal faster. Luckily, there is a health insurance plan which does just this! The Self-Love Health Plan provides a large range of benefits designed to allow you to love yourself. The benefits include a claimable staycation, shopping spree, spa appointment, and much more, up to the benefit limit of course!
Policy #3: The Question Avoider Plan
Your parents, your friends, your co-workers and even your dentist seem to never be able to stop asking questions at the time when you least want to answer them. How do you dodge having to divulge information which you’d really rather keep to yourself… without sounding rude? Just purchase the Question Avoider Policy and your problems will be solved! This plan provides a contractual agreement between you, the heartbroken individual, and your insurer which prevents you from releasing confidential and sensitive information. Individuals who insist on your sharing are in breach of the contract and will have to pay a mighty fine accordingly. There’s no better excuse for not being pouring your heart out in front of every person you know!
Actual Disclaimer: these policies do not exist for real (although we really wish they did!)
Health insurance and critical illness insurance plans do not classify heartbreak as an illness or disease (unless your heart is literally and physically broken of course!). While we can’t help you when your heart is figuratively broken, we can help you with a literal broken heart. Love is not cheap, but you can protect your actual heart at a lower price with PolicyPal 5% cashback scheme on every purchase of health or critical illness insurance plan!